Women Can Do Anything

As we head into a new year filled with new goals, resolutions and growing to-do lists, Adele Alfano shares her own particular story of why taking time out for yourself should be one of your priorities for 2008.

{mosimage} The other day I was driving to a speaking engagement. As I was driving, a small crack on my window (which I have ignored for a year) started to crack and spread before my eyes. As I went over every bump, the windshield crack started to get longer and longer. Getting out of the car at a rest area, the crack could not be felt from either the inside or outside of the windshield. It was buried deep inside the window pane. How strange is that?!

Time for a new resolution
I had 90 minutes during that drive to really reflect on this. As we all know, January is a traditional month for setting goals and resolutions. I, like many other people, have set the standard goals of exercising more and watching what we eat. One of the other high-priority goals that I have set this year is to relax and consciously schedule more downtime. Anyone who owns their own business and is self-employed can identify with:

● Working long hours during the work week
● Getting up before the crack of dawn and working late into the evening
● Putting in working hours on the weekend

When one owns their own business, there is definitely a gray haze between being dedicated and loving what you do and feeling guilty of taking some 'downtime' away from your own business. Type-A personalities like myself are constantly involved in accomplishing tasks and producing results.

What “cracks” aren’t you seeing?
Well, the crack in my window of health happened a few months ago with skyrocketing blood pressure. Like the small crack in the window, I ignored the signs of stress: headaches, heart palpations and difficulty sleeping. Over every "bump" the crack got deeper and deeper.

With a lot of help from my doctor, massage therapist and naturopath, we have been able to get my blood pressure at a manageable level. I have resolved to re-learn the fine art of chillaxing: a combination of chilling and relaxing. (My brother is a high-school teacher and he picks up on all these great terms from his students and shares them with me!)

Chillaxing is not about taking up a new hobby, listening to music or reading a book. It is about respecting your basic need for a time of quiet peace and reflection of your thoughts. Simply being quiet, bringing your awareness and focus to your heartbeat, muscles and breath. Not an easy task!

Daily chillaxing
I have decided to start small and devote 30 minutes a day to pursuing the fine art of chillaxing. As a person who is driven and is results-oriented, it has been difficult to just do nothing. But like everything else, it is a learned skill. So here are a few tips that I have learned along the way:

1. You need to tell your body that now is the time to re-balance and connect. By giving your body permission to relax, your mind will follow.

2. It is OK if you fall asleep! Surrender that your body just needs to doze off and do not feel guilty for sleeping during the day.

3. Chillaxing right after lunch is not the best time. All you hear during your chillaxing time is your stomach digesting food. I have found that my internal clock becomes sluggish around 3:00 in the afternoon. So I have decided that this is the best time to chill out.

I know these are small baby steps to patch up the "crack" in my windshield...but it is a start. I thank the windshield for cracking in front of my eyes because it opened up my eyes! One big lesson I have learned from this whole experience is that it is easy to get so preoccupied with living, thinking, organizing, existing and working that it is easy to disregard one's need for guilt-free relaxation.

"For fast-acting relief, try slowing down!"—Lily Tomlin